welcome to my void.

(listen while you read? if you don't use spotify, either get it [you won't regret] or e-mail me. i'll hook you up.)

it's 5:29 a.m. where i'm at.

imagine you're in a corridor - dimly lit from under and seemingly infinite.

that's what i dream of  nearly every night. in this corridor, i revisit old memories and have visions of subconsciousness and random other excursions. these trips down this hall are usually clearly visible, but obscured by a filter of deep melancholy, like my brain is allowing me to relive my misery over and over. on nights i don't experience this, i sometimes dream of alternate endings to friendships or relationships.

all of this is unwilling - i seem to want to move on past the things that hold me back, but my dreams remind me every night of why i am who i am.

i'm dylan. dylan wayne tracy from oklahoma. i'm a person, just like you. i spend my conscious time listening to, writing about, or "composing" music. i'm as honest as it gets - an open book.

there's a point in my life that i've reached - that moment when you're sprawling around for hope and change. you want things to be different just to taste the other side. you want to go on a journey and never forget. you want to disappear from what you know and dive into unknown waters. you think someone recently introduced to you or the newest thing you've started doing is your ticket out of your life. but i've started to grow cynical of it all. my attempts at trying to change anything have been futile. i've yet to make an impact into something different and have kept routinely living in a groundhog day since returning from my first year of college, which was the worst year of my life that i sometimes miss in certain aspects.

my life's dream is to write about music for a publication (or myself) and be semi-famous about it. you know, where people actually give a shit about what i say about music, even if they don't give a shit about what i say otherwise. but that's a dream.

currently, i just started writing my own music with my friends. what i mean by that - my friend henry writes all the complicated, awesome shit and we go in and try to accompany it with some decent-enough complementary sounds. it works enough to get attention from my friends and they enjoy it enough to say so. part of me hates the idea of sharing this music with our friends because they almost feel obligated to say, "yeah, that was awesome!" but other people i would've never talked to have said they enjoy it. it's whatever. i'm not expecting nu// to take off into the billboard 200 or whatever. we just enjoy sitting around in our apartment, making music we like. if others enjoy it, fuck yes, that's awesome. it would be awesome if we made an album and toured and did all kinds of fun stuff, but we're just writing and releasing whatever demos we can throw together.

but, yeah, that's me. i must admit that i was influenced (or maybe inspired is the right word) by Courtney to start writing something like this. i read her introduction and was staggered (in the best way possible) by her description of her life and how i could draw some parallels. to explain, everything about her "disillusionment" (to use her word) about culture is spot-on with how i feel. her diction has also got to be some of the best i've ever noticed, and comparing to the quite-a-few books i've read, that's a compliment that i hope she enjoys a bit. so, thanks, Courtney.

this blog's purpose is to be a collection of my thoughts about music, film, my life, random things, and hopefully, i'll share some of my creative output (music, scenes from movies, scripts, chapters, etc.). i hope to do this as anonymously as possible, so, if you're my compatriot and you're reading this, be warned. this is my introspect splattered on a massive canvas - the internet. it's written in ink. (now, a scene from my favorite movie of all-time.)

um, if you enjoyed any of this nonsense, e-mail me (cromwelljones@gmail.com) or hit me up on twitter. i'm always up for having a conversation about any of the aforementioned things above.